Hello,
In my teenage years I would listen to Smashing Pumpkins, Counting Crows, and all that stuff good music that is romantic crossed with depressing. I would be all wanting a girlfriend so bad like life didn’t even begin until I had someone to share it with.
Then I got an awesome girlfriend. In fact she was the most attractive girl I ever met in person, but we fell in love before we saw each other in person. It was an honest internet romance that started just chatting online and sending emails daily. Anyway, she also had a highly refined sense of humor, is intelligent, and even liked chilling out playing video games or making fun of movies. I know what you’re thinking. Jim, it was hard enough to believe you when you said God spoke to you. Now you’re telling me your first girlfriend was the most attractive girl you ever met and she plays video games?!? Now no one is gonna believe you! Hah! It is the truth though yo.
Anyway, I didn’t believe in God at the time, and tried getting her to commit to just being committed for life. She didn’t go for it. We were a couple for years, but she met another dude online, and I guess I wasn’t protective enough of her not talking to other dudes… I’m not going to be like,”Yo, you can’t have friends.” Anyway, he ninja proposed to her and snatched her out from me when we were super close still. Maybe if I would have tried asking for her to commit to me more often or even maybe marriage(I had the stupid notion that I didn’t want to disrespect God going into a church without believing in him)… I was just dumb and assumed she’d tell me when she was ready for that again, an didn’t want to pester on it but I probably should have. It is just that no one expects their girlfriend to accept a ninja proposal from some random dude…
I had one other relationship after, but I prefer not to discuss it.
The whole of this situation in part is that I had an awesome enough girlfriend to be satisfied for an entire life. But more importantly is that I should not have needed that validation she gave me for accepting me. Like I took it, internalized it. I went from a guy who needed a girlfriend to start life, to a guy who doesn’t need anything anymore.
We should all live life satisfied with what we got and stuff. Society pushes the rat race a bit too hard. They want you to study hard, and work any job. Studying hard is good, but only take a good job or keep looking. No matter what, try and be satisfied especially if you’re pain free and healthy. I want you to be satisfied yo! Don’t put off life until you have a spouse! Don’t put off life until you’re out of school! Don’t out off life until you have a job! Don’t put off life until you have a house! Don’t put off life until you have enough money to keep your house paid until you’re 100! Don’t off life that long or you may find yourself 100 and go, man, I should have listened to Ferris Bueller and looked around once and a while.
Cuz it is in the looking around and chilling with God is where life is. Go out to a park. Look at sticks and flowers and stuff. Breathe the air. Look very closely at grass. If you have a magnifying glass, even better. Some people even have microscopes to look at plants and rocks and stuff. In the beauty that is all around us, give God thanks.
I get my greatest sense of satisfaction in telling others that God is real. I know he is real. A lot of people don’t know Jesus is real yet. So I like to tell people about God. Being on a mission from God to encourage people gives more meaning than I’d find in a relationship if I didn’t have God. That is the truth.
Anyway, have faith, know God cares. Start living now. Enjoy life, don’t put it off. And once you’re comfortable living yourself, go help other people out. A lot of people need help. This gives life meaning too.